Gilmore Girls. And SPOILERS. You’ve been warned.

Let’s talk Gilmore Girls, shall we?

But first…the obligatory…

****SPOILERS****

(this is your last warning)gilmore-girls-revival

The opening segment was like taking a time traveling machine back, back, back…to my little old house with no fireplace and no windows in the living room where I was first hooked on Gilmore Girls. I sat on my couch with my two closest friends (who had graciously waited to watch it with me), with our team shirts on, our ‘In Omnia Paratus’ mugs, and our massive spread of Gilmore Girls type food…anticipating all that was to come…

The snow, the gazebo, the town meetings, Taylor, Kirk, Lane, Mrs. Kim, and for the first time ever…Mr. Kim! All of it was back and it was glorious. AND….

After what was a LOT of anticipation and an equal amount of speculation…we were left with the infamous four word exit of the series.

I’d love to tell you I saw it coming…especially because I successfully guessed this exact ending on an instagram post question (no, I’m not researching it for a link…you’ll have to trust me), but I was as shocked as you. I forgot my own genius. Hey, it happens.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Yeah.  Those.

We’ll chat those up later…for now….Let’s chat about some other things that didn’t necessarily shock me…but maybe threw me for a little loop:

Rory not having a steady career. I thought she was a shoe-in for teaching at Chilton.

Rory having a boyfriend she didn’t remember. Say what? While this had its funny moments, it was also SO CRUEL.

Rory cheating on her easy-to-forget boyfriend with Logan.

Rory being involved with an engaged man. AKA Logan. It’s like Dean 2.0 never happened.

Rory having a one-night stand. With a WOOKIE.

Lorelai not ripping Rory a new one over the one night stand.

Lorelai not ripping Rory a new one over the affair with Logan.

Lorelai not ripping Rory a new one over stringing Paul (or was it Pete?) along un-necessarily.

Lorelai trying to do Wild. Um. What?!

Emily keeping a maid longer than one episode. Hell hath frozeneth overeth.

Stars Hollow Musical. Um…did they sing they were brother and sister? You are me in a dress…and you are me in pants. Yes. Yes, they did.

I could understand how you might think I didn’t like it. I did like it. More than liked it. I loved it, really. The second time around.

Because the first time, I was shocked. I was viewing it under a different lens…one that says Rory is still 23 and Lorelai is still the mother to a 23 year old. One that said Rory learned some lessons and no way would she be repeating them. Boy, was I wrong.

Like every mother-daughter relationship, it has grown and matured. I didn’t like all aspects of their relationship through the first seven seasons…and that didn’t change. Don’t scoff! Lorelai was great as a mom, but she was far from perfect! Their relationship changed and matured off-screen and away from my scrutiny. I needed to ease into this new relationship dynamic. Like…ease in.

So…here we go…easin’ in.

I remember Amy Sherman-Palladino mentioning that she hadn’t watched the seventh season in one of the many articles I have read through the years about Gilmore Girls. She had friends tell her the main points…and she said only one thing was something she wasn’t going to work with…she was just going to overlook it.

I think that one thing was when Logan asked Rory to marry him. It’s never mentioned in their relationship in the revival, and they had somehow reverted back to old Logan and Rory where they struggled to be just friends with benefits…super casual…what happens in Vegas stays between Logan’s bed sheets and the like. It didn’t work then, and it certainly isn’t going to work with an engaged Logan who seemed to have every intention of stringing Rory along as his mistress for as long as she’d let him. Um. Rory? Your mama raised you better than that. I think. Before they let you in on the engaged portion of Logan’s life, I was still proudly sporting my Team Logan shirt. Because we’ve always known he was a player that Rory reformed (not real life, for sure). When he was engaged…I was like… WHAT?! And…I’m done with you. Unless you are going to profess your love, break it off with your stupid French heiress fiance, and whisk Rory away.

Not that she’d let you. It was a very odd situation for Rory to be in. I felt like she was incredibly indifferent until the very end of the second episode. When she sleeps with a wookie. Like, for realz. Then, we start to see a little of the old Rory come back to us. But then….

There’s Paul. Poor Paul! How hard would it have been to just send him a text sayin’ ‘Peace out’? Cue season three when Rory really liked Jess but kept stringing poor Dean along until he was reduced to a whiny, crying baby that made everyone cringe. He was like nails on a chalkboard. And then, she tried again with married Dean. And he sunk further. Poor Dean. Poor Paul!

But at least Lorelai gave her ‘what for’ with Dean! He’s MARRIED. STOP IT. And in some cases, Lorelai really let her lie in the ugly adultery bed Rory had made for herself. This time? She shrugs in a kind of “it’s your life” way after she tells her she’s kind of slutty. Cue the relationship status change for them. Are they more friends now? I think so. ***That would never happen in my life because my mom would have taken my thirty-two year old butt over her knee for sleeping with an engaged man. And a wookie! Just sayin’.***

Needless to say, I worked through a lot of weird disappointment over Rory.

BUT. With resounding joy, I can say for the most part that Lorelai was Lorelai! She dealt with her mom in typical fashion and Michel, too. And can I just say…the Secret Bar of Stars Hollow was so great!

Luke was Luke (thank you, ASP, for keeping him AH-mazing)!

And surprisingly, I missed Sookie for the first three (and most of the fourth) episodes, but not like I thought I would. I loved seeing that Luke had really become Lorelai’s life and that they had built something that definitely mimicked marriage. I love that Emily was still able to squeeze in her little comments, and even after all this time, she could make Lorelai step back and find truth behind the biting accusations and passive aggressive comments. This is just another reason I am shocked Lorelai appears to let Rory go and live her crazy ‘vagabond existence.’ Hello!?!! You can be a mom to your adult kid and still NOT be an Emily!

Biggest revelation for a character? April was surprisingly hilarious! Pretentious at first…and then…HILARIOUS. She’s always been like an annoying little lap dog that won’t leave you alone and ruins your clean clothes on the couch by sleeping on them. Luke and Lorelai were super clean clothes on the couch before she came along. Then, BAM! Dirty clothes forcing them to rinse and repeat more problems.I loved her little snippet and the idea that all of them seemed really comfortable with each other now.

When Sookie does finally come in…it is epic. And precious. And I wanted to cry…but all my tears had been shed in episode one when they flash backed to Richard’s funeral…and the picture of them dancing together. And the crying. And the sadness. And the Richard…and the Emily tears…it’s just so sad. Stop it. Stop it right now, AS-P!

So now…NOW, after those infamous four words, I need to take an even greater step back. and ponder what Rory would be like had we seen her with her child. And her career. Because this is how I process. Don’t judge.

Here’s my theory:

For as much as we all want to see Rory raise her daughter (come on, guys…you know it was gonna be a girl…) much like how Lorelai raised her, we have to admit her circumstances are vastly different.

Her and her mother get along. They like each other, want to be in each others lives…I mean, this is Gilmore Girls.

Rory gets along with her dad…for the most part. And her dad has money. Lots and lots of money. And while Rory has her pride, I don’t think she’s exactly above asking him for a little help. Cue: Yale tuition. And yes, I know some of that motivation was to get back at Emily, but not all of it. She’ll have that Pottery Barn nursery, people.

So…does she finish her book? You bet. While she’s pregnant…and has all the issues of editing and dealing with publishers while she navigates life with an infant. I see poop on manuscripts and Lorelai teasing her that maybe she IS the wookie’s offspring after all.

Tells Logan about the baby? Yup. And then tells him she doesn’t want his help raising her, to which he replies with his dimpled grin and favorite catch phrase, “Come on, Ace.” And while she’s ooober (teehee) tempted to let him supply all her needs, she settles for another one night stand with her baby-daddy when he comes to visit. Yup. Affair. Again. Let’s be real…she’s proven to not have any firm morals when it comes to Logan. Why start now? Odette, who?

Does Logan move from London? Not on your life. Absentee father. Like Christopher. I’d bet on it. Cue all the late night phone conversations where Rory is blasting him for not coming to yet another holiday with his kid. Which…in my After Gilmore Girls Revival World (AGGRW) makes her a hypocrite. Read on.

Jess helps her publish her book. Outside of Lorelai, he is her biggest fan. And tells her how it is. “What’s going on with you? I know you. I know you better than anyone. This isn’t you…Why did you drop out of Yale?!” comes to mind. Cue the aaaahhhhhhhhh’s because you know their working relationship won’t stay just ‘working’ for long. It’s all part of the plan.

Does Jess still love Rory? Only to the moons of Endor and back! He is her ‘Luke.’ Though, in my AGGRW, it doesn’t take them years upon years to admit it. Ahem. Luke and Lorelai. Cough, cough. But it does take him a while to trust her constant contact with Logan and for this reason, he keeps his distance from her romantically for a while. Like, half a season.

Logan and Odette get married. When she finds out about Lorel (because that will be Rory’s daughter’s nickname) and that Logan has been keeping her a secret for a YEAR…she blows up and Logan finds himself on the verge of divorce. Cue him asking to spend time with Rory, they get drunk…on scotch…apparently, it’s the new wine? And enter more trust issues for Jess…who manages to find Shane and retaliate. Remember Shane? Yeah.

Still…Rory and Jess find themselves alone, together. Just like Luke and Lorelai did so many times. And the tension builds…and builds. But for a while, they remain just friends.

When Rory and Lorelai have another falling out because Rory is on a really sporadic book tour (and negotiations with Doyle to make it into a tv series- HELLO!) and Lorelai is calling her out for being away from her daughter too much, Jess takes Lorelai’s side. This instigates one frustrating season where Jess and Rory are on the outs-even as friends (how dare you side with my mother?). Until her daughter gets sick and Rory comes home to realize how horrible she has been and that no book or publicity is worth missing her daughter growing up. And before you think this is a really selfish Rory I’m painting…let me agree with you. It doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

Emily gets cancer and Lorelai has to take care of her mother for a whole season (come on, sad…but has potential to be OH, SO FUNNY!) and they somehow manage to work through a lot of their issues. When Emily finally dies, Lorelai hates her tombstone and spends thousands upon thousands making it right. Like mother, like daughter. She expands the Dragonfly, Michel stays, and Sookie comes back.

Rory runs not only the Stars Hollow Gazette, but begins writing a sequel…of her own Gilmore Girls story. When her daughter is old enough to attend Chilton…cue Grand-daddy Christopher…because she’s over asking Logan for anything in regards to their child. After a brief but painful year overseas with her father,  a very spoiled Lorel realizes how much she loves Rory and appreciates Lorelai. Her grandmother. Lordy.

Eventually, Rory sells the rights to her Gilmore Girls series to Doyle (who is back with Paris…because who else is going to have volcanic sex with Paris????)…and reaps all the royalties, freeing her up to write without having to live off Logan or Christopher.

And her and Jess FINALLY get married. In enough time to have another kid. A boy…they name him Luke Richard Mariano.

The. End.

Well….How’d I do? I know I left a lot out…but there is SO much…it would take another blog story series to cover it all!!!

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2 thoughts on “Gilmore Girls. And SPOILERS. You’ve been warned.

  1. Pingback: Birthday Shenanigans | Serial Wannabe

  2. You better patent this!!!! I was busy and yet I could not stop reading and almost cried. Thanks for that! ASP owes you. I should be your Diana and send it in!!!!😍😍😍

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