Two Steps Back

*This post is part of the Write 31 Days challenge.*serial-wannabe4

I spent a large portion of this week making cookies. Which was fun!

But it also meant that I spent a large portion of this weekend trying to flesh out the foundation of the story I am trying to tell. I had come to a part in the story that I could not post on the blog without knowing more of boundaries within this world. I couldn’t afford to be bound to the published post and then hate where that meant the story had to go.

I found more roadblocks than I would care to admit. And ideas were trashed that I had held onto with an iron grip. Somehow, they were going to fit into the story. Yet, they no longer fit and I was left with a story line for a character that I could not reconcile with what I had already written and where I wanted the story to go.

And I’ll admit, I kicked and screamed. I may have cried in frustration. I am a girl, so…you know. I doubted myself. I listened to the idea that I was a fool for even starting this thinking I could finish it.

And then..I walked away. I turned off the computer. I walked upstairs and fell into bed. I prayed. I was reminded that I am not doing this to perfection. I am doing this because I feel like I am supposed to.

Maybe that means I never get published. Maybe that means, this little story, on this little blog lives here into eternity…its sole mission to be present for my kids whenever they need to see my writing, hear my thoughts, or think better of themselves than they do in a particular moment.

*So…for a future click on the link that may or may not be my kid…I love you more than you know, God loves you more than I ever could, and you can do anything you set your mind to. Trust in God, Believe in Jesus, Pray in the Spirit.*

The funny thing is…I woke up at 4am and had the best idea for the foundation of the story that I’ve ever had.

What felt like two steps back was one giant leap forward.

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